Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
