I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
