Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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