I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
