the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm passing your future prison.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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