We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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