I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
