I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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