ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
