It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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