I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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