It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
