So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
