I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
