It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
