I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
