I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
