Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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