Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
