Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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