The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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