Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
