i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I want her autograph on my taint
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
