just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
