hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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