i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He better not be in your backpack
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
