What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
