Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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