Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
