they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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