i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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