This is not my ceiling
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
