so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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