where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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