I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
either way he was missing a nipple.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
