maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
