After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
NoShamevember. You game?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Drake has all the answers
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
