? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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