a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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