Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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