i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
