I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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