I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
