i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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