He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm sobbing to NWA
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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