I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
