my mouth tastes like poor choices
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
