I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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