She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
