if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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